If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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