You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
