She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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