u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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