I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
