Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
