I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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