Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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