you traded sex for a burrito?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
