Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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