Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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