since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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