TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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