Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
