I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
