what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
