Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
