how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
