Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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