just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
