how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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