i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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