dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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