so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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