doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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