Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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