Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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