your thong is hanging out like whoa
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
