Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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