I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
