i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize