my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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