Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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