she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
