Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You took a bar mat shot.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
