grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
