I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
