I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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