I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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