some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
