i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize