why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
