there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
