i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
