How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize