dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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