she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
