How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
