I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
