So drunk its hurt
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
