we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize