so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I party with great urgency now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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