Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
