Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have post one night stand depression
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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