I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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