All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
