dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I deserve this hangover.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
